Three years of conversations in a Muslim country distilled down to 13 minutes and 49 seconds

Moving to a Muslim country is a chance for an expat to confront one's own Islamophobia directly. It works too. I love living without fear. Instead of learning through American media what Muslim people are like, I'm learning from them directly and listening to them share with me how they see things.

If you want to know what it feels like to be an expat, this man's talk has distilled the kind of conversations I've had with my Muslim friends over the last three years down to 13 minutes and 49 seconds. I ask you to listen to Mehdi Hasan, speaking at the Oxford Union, with an open mind and heart, as otherwise there really isn't any point in listening. You would miss the whole experience of what it actually is like to be an expat.

To all my Muslim friends as you begin your celebration of Ramazan during what will be a very hot month, I say: "Ramazan Mubarak!"

Turkey's Ethnic Diversity

Turk, Kurd, Bosnian

Circassian, Nomad, Immigrant

Laz, Albanian, Georgian

Alevi, Sunni, Şafii (what is that?)

One of the things I love about Turkey is something it has in common with America: ethnic diversity! I always say Turkey is as diverse a vegetable stew as America - it just has different vegetables. And all of those vegetables are new to me. I met a Turk or two before I came here, Bosnians too (often new immigrants to America), but I am sure I never met a Kurd, or an Alevi (hadn't even heard of them before I cam here). I only knew the word Circassian from reading Mark Twain, they are now a diaspora people for the most part. I met a Laz woman once during spontaneous outdoor dancing in Turkey, but to see their culture I would need to go up to the Northern Black Sea coast. Albanians, Georgians, Armenians, Assyrians, and Greeks help make up the Levantine culture that is so wonderfully fun to experience because it is so different than what I am used to at home.

Once you've experienced diversity, do you find going back to a homogeneous society kind of boring? I do. It's all the differences that make life interesting.

Polarization is a Choice

 A photo of the Beşiktaş Forum,

a nightly neighborhood discussion

happening in my neighborhood park

and twenty other parks throughout Istanbul

where citizens discuss the future of the protests

and the future of their country.

I feel deeply lucky to have experienced the Turkish protests and to watch citizen engagement on a level never before experienced in Turkey. I plan to write about the experience, but frankly, it has been so interesting, I couldn't even tear myself away from watching it long enough to write about it. It makes me appreciate that real journalists get that done and do it on deadline too.

As an expat, I am constantly reflecting on how events in the country I am living in are related to the events from my country of origin. One of the most astounding experiences of the whole Gezi Park protests has been the level of polarization (which I wrote about here in my last post).

How polarized has it been? So polarized that the Turkish government talks about bringing in the military to restore order. Citizens discuss the possibility that there could be a civil war. I thought that I had experienced polarization in America during George W. Bush's Presidency, but this makes the Bush Presidency look like child's play. Even the clothes are different, as if each team has a uniform.

Shockingly, it wasn't until I watched this play out among the Turks that it occurred to me that polarization is a choice. When the American people were polarized, we allowed ourselves to be manipulated into doing that. We didn't have to buy that, but we did. We chose to respond to manipulative language and to allow ourselves to demonize our fellow citizens, even though we know in our hearts that what makes our country great is the range of contributions from everyone.

How boring and "trailing edge" Americans must have been during that period. One constant verbal or online sledgehammer to each other for eight years. It's so unproductive and dehumanizing. As we, the American people, beat up on each other by choosing polarized news sources and polarized web sites, other countries have gotten on with business while we spent our billions indulging in a war in Iraq America wishes it could forget. In a globalized world, the country that chooses to be divided, falls behind.

If I could offer advice to my Turkish friends based on my eight years of living through the George W. Bush presidency it would be to understand that polarizing language is manipulative language. If you buy into it, you're allowing yourself to be manipulated. Take care of your personal relationships, invite your most opposite philosophically-different friend over for dinner and break bread together. Just because dialogue doesn't occur at your highest level, doesn't mean dialogue can't occur at the citizen level.

Iftar Dinner at the White House

(the meal where Muslims break their fast

after a day of no food or water)

Official White House Photo

by Chuck Kennedy

Breaking bread together is such a fundamental practice. That's why it means so much to me to see my President celebrate Ramadan or Diwali or Passover. During that meal time, my President is contemplating and learning from someone who is different than him. He is respecting and celebrating their traditions. He is honoring them. Is there any reason we, the people who live all over the world, can't do that too?

I read recently that members of the American Congress are so polarized, and there is so much money at stake in each decision, that they no longer undertake this practice of breaking bread with their opposite. It shows. Congressional approval ratings hover around 10% and they famously work to keep the status quo rather than move the country forward.

Polarization is a choice. I'm no longer going to buy it. How about you?


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Gezi Park Turkish Protests: Where is a "Range of Opinion?"

Protesters doing yoga in Gezi Park

What a fascinating week in Turkey as my friends have risen up and demanded their Turkish democracy be inclusive of their lifestyles and opinions too. I say "my friends" because, like most expats, I have a few friends who support the AKP and hundreds who don't. Most of my Istanbullian friends are broadly secular, supportive of the ideas of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, and are internationally-oriented global citizens. So they are completely unrepresentative of the average Turk, and especially, the average Turk who voted in the AKP-majority government.

A Turkish friend who protests

In story after story about the protests, the range of opinions reported has been very narrow. It is very easy for Westerners in Istanbul to identify with the protesters, because they are asking for things that Westerners consider foundational for a democracy: respect for minority opinion, respect for diversity of lifestyle, respect for the variety of religious expression, and respect for freedom of the press. The protests started with concern about the pace of urban transformation and sense of loss for vital green spaces within one of the world's largest cities. All of these ideas that the protesters are demanding have been ably, bravely, and amply reported. The protesters' voices are heard in story upon story in the English-language press. But you'll notice, there isn't a big range of opinion there. The protesters seem unified around these thoughts.

The views of government supporters and of the government has been very hard to find. I've been trying to find those opinions, because as a library professional, my job and my joy and my mission in life is to share information on all sides of issues. While the protesters are organized in both Turkish and English on social media and are also available in the park for easy interviewing, AKP folks must be talking to themselves on Twitter and Facebook almost exclusively in Turkish. Journalists are flying in from all over the World to cover this story, but with today's news budgets, having a translator is an extra expense some news organizations may not have. I have read hardly anything reflecting the AKP view.

Six Turkish Newspapers

All With the Same Headline

Where is a "range" of opinion

(on either side)?

The Turkish media had six front pages all with the same headline in Turkish to reflect to Turkish people the 'official' government opinion when Prime Minister Erdogan came back from North Africa; this shows there is not much deviation in the AKP opinion either. Even worse for the AKP and its supporters, their opinions aren't being expressed in English.

Even at the friendship level we expats rarely hear these AKP opinions, simply because many AKP people have not taken the time to learn a global language so they can express themselves to the world.

Protest banner decrying police brutality



These narrow bands of opinion seem to be a Venn diagram of two circles, one labeled "protesters" and one labeled "AKP." The circles seem not to have overlapping parts. Because each side seems mostly to talk to like-minded friends there is also the danger of online filter bubbles.

I remember this kind of polarization in the Bush years in America. It's the kind of opportunity Obama walked into, rallying everyone around the center. I don't know if there is a center in Turkey, but it is unoccupied at the moment - unlike Gezi Park.

Getting Ready for Global Minds Book Club

 

A perfect day on my patio

 Yesterday was a spectacular sunny day in Istanbul. Not a cloud in the sky with total Chamber-of-Commerce weather. What a fun day of friends, food, and shopping we had! In the afternoon, my friend Barb and I just chilled out. There's nothing like the start of a three-day weekend and a new book to read. This month: Chinua Achebe's "Things Fall Apart."

 Life's a bowl of cherries sometimes.

Sometimes you just have to slow down and enjoy it!

 

You may enjoy my other posts about Istanbul's Global Minds Book Club:

 

Discussing Books with Istanbul's Global Minds Book Club

 

Africa Day @ the Global Minds Book Club

 

Why yes, Empty Nest Expat is on Facebook. Meet me there and "like" my page so you don't miss an update.

 

Crossing Continents with a Covered Dish

I belong to a Facebook group called Cook's Corner for Expats in Turkey that is a collection of 700 home cooks living in Turkey from all corners of the globe. People use the group to ask each other where to find the elusive ingredient from home (cilantro? black beans? celery?). People also use it to share their excitement when a beloved product from home becomes a regular import in Turkey; I remember the Brits getting really excited about some sort of malt vinegar potato chips.

People post photos of their latest cooking and baking creations. Do you find cooking motivation by seeing what other people have made? I do. So many of the foods are things new to me, especially the Asian dishes. One day I exclaimed: "we need to have a potluck - I want to meet your food - oh, and you too." The idea took off and we instantly filled a roster of 23 people to meet together and share our creations. This is the second potluck of the group.

This is what I brought:

Spinach and Exotic Fruit Salad



 Brooks, an American and cofounder of the group with Virginia,
brought the rice dish

that his family always demands:

Indian Rice With Peas

I was so grateful to Helene

for bringing this Southwestern Salad.

I hadn't tasted a black bean for three years!

You don't know what you miss until you can't have it.

I loved meeting Kuraishini,

an expat from Sri Lanka,

who regularly gives

Sri Lankan cooking lessons

here in Istanbul.

 

She brought Sri Lankan fish cakes.

For the potluck, she toned down the spiciness.

Ha, bring it on Kuraishini.

 I want to see if I can handle it.

This is a dish from Aura's

hometown in Turkey, Sarma Aşı, 

a particular twist on stuffed grape leaves.

 

The bulgur, which has walnuts in it,

is stuffed into the grape leaves with a gherkin.

Here's the Turkish version of the recipe.

It's called Burdur Sarmaaşı.

 

Oh, this was so delish!

Underneath that spinach roll

was homemade dark and nutty German black bread.

 

The above food and the next two photos of food

were made by

a lovely young Pole named Aleksandra

who probably bakes and cooks

in the five or six languages she speaks!

 Gluten-free mini Zucchini Pizzas

made by Nicki from Long Island, New York

 Virginia, an American who used to own a popular café

in Istanbul's Sultanahmet neighborhood,

brought Hoppin' John, a traditional Afro-American dish

made with ham hocks.
Ham hocks weren't available in Istanbul

so Virginia used home-raised bacon from Serbia.

 

She had a non-pork version there too for the Muslims,

which was nice, as our hostess Kathy

was an American Sufi.

 

Kathy has a personal shopping business

and had just shown travel entrepreneur Rick Steves

around the bazaars earlier in the week.

 Salmon Quiche brought by

 Hawaiian Island native Becky from Maui.

I hadn't had scalloped potatoes in years either.

Western civilization comfort food!

 Derya,

an Australian with Cypriot heritage

brought this.

A traditional Austrian Sacher torte,

a chocolate cake

with a rum-apricot glaze

and a Pariser Crème glaze.

It was to die for.

An American named Franklin Orosco made this.

He used to own a café in Lithuania.

He made these

 Powidl Taschl, Mohn Plunder

and Apfel Plunder too.

These were so warm and wonderful.

I could just imagine Austrian children eating them

and becoming emotionally attached.

 

Franklin's creations were made with such

skill and pride.

You heard it here first (it's still a bit of a secret)

but Franklin Orosco is going to be offering baking lessons

here in Istanbul. Sssshhh. That's still on the QT.

This delectable dessert
is called an Eton Mess.

It was brought by a proud Englishman, Michael.

It was so fun to hear about the history of this dish.

American readers, what should I bring next time that represents American culture? My spinach salad couldn't burn or scorch and I thought of bringing an Arabic fattoush salad next time for the same reason. But I so loved sampling other people's "national dishes" that I feel I should 'represent' American food heritage.

 

I do make an amazing guacamole that used to make an appearance every Super Bowl game. I could bring that. What other dishes would you suggest that 'represent' American culinary heritage?

 

This is the first time I've ever taken a ferry and a cab to a potluck. I crossed from Europe, where I live, to Asia, where Kathy lives. What a lovely neighborly experience: crossing continents with a covered dish.

 

 

Photos courtesy of Brooks Emerson

 

 

 

Here are some other cooking posts you might enjoy:

 

My Morning Menemen

 

Christmas Eve Lunch with pomegranates

 

Playing more with pomegranates

 

A trip to Provence, accompanied by Julia Child

 

Sam's Salad with Cherries, Goat Cheese and Pistachios

 

Hanging Out with Old Friends in Wichita, Kansas

 

The Start of a Week in Provence

 

Provence Inspires Me to Make My First Tart

 

A Wonderful Evening With New Friends

 

 

 

Why yes, I'm on Facebook, you should 'like' my page: Empty Nest Expat!

 

 

 

The Days of Wine and Roses and Tulips: Wine Tasting at the Four Seasons Sultanahmet

 It's Tulip Time in Istanbul.

 The whole city is bursting with tulips - 4,000,000 of them.

These are in the courtyard of the Four Seasons Hotel Sultanahmet.

 My friend, Yasemin, had gathered a group for

wine tasting and divine cheeses -

a regular Friday night event

at the Four Seasons.

 Quince marmalade, olives, and fresh melon

with assorted breads and cheeses

displayed and assembled

to create our light repasts.

It was a treat to see friends -

in a momentary break from

weeks of intensive Turkish lessons.

Last night's tasting featured Italian wines:

 

Pinot Grigio Venezie IGT Blush, Ardesia 2011

Nero D'Avola IGT Sicily, Cataldo 2011

Cavalcante Sangiovese Di Toscana IGT, Baroncini 2011

Chianti "Messere" D.O.C.G. Baroncini 2011

 

I enjoyed the full-bodied Sangiovese and Chianti best. 

 

Danish blue and a smoky

Cergiz cheese were the most fabulous -

because they were the boldest.

Afterwards, we went to the roof

to enjoy the view of the Hagia Sophia on one side.

And the view of the Bosphorus

and the Four Seasons courtyard

on the other.

 

This Four Seasons Hotel used to be a coed prison.

It housed political prisoners

who were imprisoned after

the military coups in the 1980s.

 It is better to be in Istanbul

now, not then,

during these days of tulips and wine and roses.

 

 

Photos courtesy of Yasemin Erdem and Ibrahim Turco.

'Backwards Day' in Istanbul: a news junkie's paradise

I have a Kurdish friend, now of European citizenship, who says, "when I lived in Germany, I tried to be interested in everything happening there but it was all so boring. It just wasn't engaging." Having lived in Istanbul for a couple years now, I completely understand.

The Levantine area is a news junkie paradise. There is more absolutely fascinating news happening in any one week here, than in a year somewhere else. This last week had to be THE MOST fascinating week since I first came here in 2010.

Indeed, it felt like an event teenagers often create called "Backwards Day." The teens do everything backwards for one day from wearing their clothes backward to saying the opposite of what they usually do. The news that happened last week was so unexpected and so "backwards" of what one normally hears and it all happened in the same week!

An Israeli apology

The Mavi Marmara

Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu apologized to Turkey's Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan for the Mavi Marmara incident. As an American citizen, I frequently feel that if a US citizen ever has an opinion that is contrary to the Israeli point-of-view and they publically express that view, they will be bullied into silence. The American media never has an honest dialogue about Israel and it rarely explains to Americans that Israelis are settling on land that belongs to someone else in violation of international law.

So when Israeli military forces boarded the Mavi Marmara and shot Americans and Turks at close range, killing nine of them, Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan demanded an apology.

An apology never seemed like an unreasonable request. Erdoğan's been demanding an apology for three years. He sought justice for the Americans and Turks killed much more vocally than my own government did.

This week, Erdoğan got that apology when Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called him up and expressed regret. Apologies are so powerful! It was like hearing Netanyahu and his nation say "we accept responsibility for this. We were wrong." It was the exact opposite of what a bully would do.

Backwards Day.

The PKK declares a cease-fire

The PKK, declared a terrorist group by both the Turkish and American governments, declared a cease-fire with the Turkish State. This opinion piece from Friday, March 23rd,  "Hurriety Daily News" explains just how different this is than the normal course of events in Turkey.

Backwards Day.

The Patriarch of the Orthodox Church attends the Ordination of the New Pope

When something happens for the first time in 959 years, that's amazing. Such was the excitement with the Istanbul-based Patriarch of the Orthodox Church was welcomed so warmly by the new Pope Francis when Barthalomew went to the ordination. Just even the idea being expressed that various strands of the Christian Church could be reunited is fascinating. Also worthy of note, Turkish newspapers expressed not one iota of anxiety over this. In America, if there was specualtions about Sunnis and Shia reuniting in some future generation, it would send Islamaphobia anxiety into overdrive.

Backwards Day.

Cyprus Decides to Give Bank Depositors a Hair Cut

The Flag of Cyprus

Holy Cow, what a fascinating story. It was incredible to watch it unfold and of course, it's still unfolding. If you need any proof that one should never trust a government that says "your deposits are insured" this is the story. The depositors in Cyprus banks, who had thought their deposits were insured up to 100,000 Euros, were told instead that there would be a tax on all deposits held in Cypriot banks because of all the bad loans these banks made to Greece. The depositors didn't make those choices, the bank's owners did!

As Planet Money put it, "it is like your car insurance company, like Allstate, running up to your Suburu, smashing the window, and stealing your stereo."

The odd place this put this Cypriots with their money is beautifully summarized here.

The EU was supposed to make the Cypriots feel safer.

Backwards Day.

Does this mean I want drama in my own domestic news? It does not.

I agree with Rolling Stone Magazine writer Matt Taibbi (who is so eloquent on all things financial-crisis related) who wrote this about the American budget sequestration:  "The whole situation reminds one of a family so dysfunctional that its members can't communicate except through desperate acts."

 I want my domestic news to be boring. That means there are adults in the room, taking care of business, and the citizens can spend their time creating, discovering, and solving problems in a way that moves the economy forward and not worrying about stuff like whether or not their money is safe in a bank.

In case anyone hasn't noticed, those Germans with their boring news, are kicking everyone's butt economically.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Female Safety in Istanbul

Sarai Sierra, 33

Missing since January 21st

 

If you are in Istanbul,

please take a good look at her face

let us all be on the lookout for her.

Recently a young American mother on a photography tour went missing in Istanbul and this unfortunate story made the national news all across America. I pray for the safe return of this young woman.

My friend Joy Ludwig-McNutt wrote an excellent blog post about safety in Istanbul on her blog "My Turkish Joys" because she found the comments of Americans about this case so annoying. It's an excellent post. Click here to read it.

Five Most Popular Posts From 2012 for the 'Empty Nest Expat' Blog

I didn't get to blog as much as I wanted last year because I devoted many hours of my time to learning Turkish. Still, I increased my number of posts from the year before. Here are the top five most popular posts written in 2013:

"Hürrem," the leading character

 of the show 

 

1. Ready to Try Some Turkish TV? Watch one episode of "The Magnificent Century"
This soap opera is must-watch TV in Turkey and surrounding countries. The Turkish Prime Minister has threatened to ban it for focusing too much on the Sultan's bedroom, and not enough on the Sultan's time on the battlefield. The Prime Minister's threats of censorship, of course, just increase popular interest.

Maiden's Tower on the Bosphorus

 

2. Time Out for Turkish
This post shares my Turkish language journey and some of the internet resources I have used along the way in my early days of learning. The irony is, now that I've finally paid to attend a traditional classroom, my learning is exponentially faster! It turns out you can't beat a real teacher walking you through the grammar.

 

3. Breaking the Silence on Street Harassment in Istanbul
Single women travellers are one of the largest growth segments in travel. I tried to point out the cost to countries and local businesses when women don't feel safe on their streets.

Here we are discussing Murakami

 

4. Discussing Books with the Global Minds Book Club
When I explain the idea behind the Global Minds Book Club as people from around the world discussing books from around the world, everywhere I go, people get excited. They love that idea! And once you've discussed a book with an international group, it can seem a bit tame to only discuss a title with only people from your own country. Challenge your thinking!

Global activist Eve Ensler

She doesn't look away

from the world's worst situations

 

5. VDay 2013: One Billion Women Rising Globally & .... Dancing!
In 2012, I acted in my first play "The Vagina Monologues" to support Eve Ensler and her amazing, amazing work on behalf of ending violence against women. I loved the experience, the time I spent with the women in the cast, and I look forward to doing my part in Eve Ensler's next big project: #1billionrising which happens next month. I hope you'll participate too.

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You might enjoy:

Most popular posts for the 'Empty Nest Expat' blog for 2009

Christmas Eve Lunch with pomegranates

Delicious, healthy, and pretty! 

Turkey has such beautiful fruits and vegetables and so much of it is produce that I have never cooked with before. I vowed to change that. Here is a very easy salad I made using an ingredient that is everywhere in Istanbul: pomegranates. I walk by pomegranate trees with big red bulbs hanging from them everyday.

 Christmas Eve Day Lunch:

Quinoa, mint & pomegranate salad 

I found a secret technique that only took two minutes to learn that taught me how to access the pretty, red juicy seeds of the fruit. It was just as easy as it looked. I substituted walnut oil for olive oil in this BBC recipe and voila! A beautiful holiday salad to be enjoyed al fresco.

Christmas Eve Day

A peaceful spot to give thanks

for life

Christmas Eve in Istanbul, Turkey

Singing "Silent Night"

a candlelight Christmas Eve Tradition

all around the world

There were also beautiful soprano and alto solos

and a jazzy saxaphone

Last night I went to the candlelight services of Union Church in Istanbul. It's the oldest Protestant congregation in the city and has been meeting in the cozy Dutch chapel attached to the Dutch consulate on Istiklal Caddessi since 1857. There are as many as 20 nationalities there on any given Sunday: Americans, Brits, South Africans, Netherlanders, Madagascarans, Kenyans, Nigerians, Congolese, Germans, Russians, Slovaks, Moldovans, Australians, just to name a few countries that achieve critical mass in the congregation.

This was an English-language service, although there are also services in Chinese, Turkish and English bilingual services, and another service for the East African community.

Tourists come from all over the world and find weekly services there via the Internet or via the little sign out on Istiklal Caddesi inviting people to English-language church. One week I enjoyed meeting Coptic Christians from Egypt and the next week it was the director of the Fallingwater architectural site in Pennsylvania. It's so interesting to see the variety of people who seek out the church while in Istanbul.

I remember the first Christmas Eve service I celebrated here. The mayor of the Beyoglu neighborhood where the church is located sent plants to all of the churches. I was stunned by how much that signal of acceptance meant to me in a 99% Muslim culture. It made me realize how much just a smile and acknowledgement of someone's right to exist can make to someone who is completely different than me and outnumbered culturally. It is a really, really healthy experience to feel what it feels like to be a minority. 

A particular local gem of candlelight services last night was "The Lord's Prayer" sung in Turkish with Turkish music and rythms. I found it incredibly haunting and powerful. We also sang favorite English-language hymns that would be recognized around the world.

Merry Christmas to all.
Peace and good will to all human kind and our planet.

You may enjoy these other posts from expat Christmases past:

A Neighborhood Christmas

Finding a Church Home in Prague: St. Clement's Church

Come Join Us for Coffee

Photos courtesy of Pastor Benjamin van Rensburg of Union Church of Istanbul

"Curious Souls" Gather in Istanbul for Discussion

The extraordinary painting of Setenay Özbek

at Art 350 Art Gallery in Istanbul

Breathtaking Color

 

Isil Musluer

One of the wonderful friends I have made through Istanbul Internations and my Global Minds Book Club is my Turkish friend Isil. Isil is an attractive, fun, positive and intelligent woman who is always uplifting to be around. 

Me with Curious Souls who were new to me
Mehmet and Tayfun

Isil recently organized a wonderful monthly discussion group through Internations called "Curious Souls." I couldn't help but think that Gertrude Stein, famous for her literary salons in Paris in the 1930s, would have been proud of Isil -- such was the delightful company of this group.

The audience primed for discussion

'Curious Souls' combined many of Isil's friends from Internations, and her friends from Istanbul Toastmasters. Toastmasters as an organization is new to Turkey. It was so fun to see my friend's ability to gather interesting people and create a wonderful atmosphere for discussion. Frankly, I was a a bit in awe of it! 

Petek in deep discussion

 We gathered at Art 350, an art gallery on the Anatolian (Asian) side of Istanbul, right on the main shopping street at 350 Bagdat Caddesi (Bagdad Street). We were surrounded by the inspiring painting of Setenay Özbek.

A discussion in full swing



 Isil invited people with these words:
 Are you fascinated with new ideas and new ways of looking at life? Do you have an insatiable desire to learn more? Do you get immense pleasure in listening to inspirational stories of great minds, and are you filled with appreciation for great talents? In short, are you a "Curious Soul"?  If you are, then, we are getting together once in a month, to watch two or three very interesting, mind-stretching and entertaining TED conferences. After each video conference, we carry a guided discussion and express our own points of view. If you are ready to experience the flourishing of diverse ideas, if you would like to express yourself, expand your horizons and grow together, and while doing these, if you would like to pass an enjoyable time together, then I invite you to come and join us.

Listening to each other

We discussed these videos:

Alain de Botton: A kinder, gentler philosophy of success.
Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story
Neil Harbisson: I listen to color (so appropriate given our surroundings)
Louie Schwartzberg: Nature. Beauty. Gratitude.

 What is the single story told about your country?

 

I volunteered to moderate the discussion generated by Chimamanda Adichie's "The danger of a single story" since I had read her book "Half of a Yellow Sun" in our Global Minds Book Club. 

 

That video is the gift that keeps on giving, as a discussion could be had for hours on what is the single story about your country, or your race, or your class, or your religion, or your family, or you. We only had time to discuss what is the single story about your country.

 

I explained that before I came to Turkey, I didn't even have one single story about Turkey -- I had no stories. I knew nothing about Turkey as a nation, probably because our national histories don't bump up against each other.

 

I gave as an example the Bosphorus Bridge, a bridge every bit as beautiful as the Golden Gate Bridge, yet I had never seen a photo of it before coming to Turkey. Turkey has a long way to go until the other side of the world has even a single story, let alone multiple stories about it.

 

The insight I gained from the discussion is that if Turks tell a single story about each other, it's based on where they are from. They ask each other, "what city are you from?" and some decide immediately what someone's values and ethnicity are based on their image of the town.

 

I've seen that happen quite a bit actually; I've even had friends asked "what city is your husband from?" in job interviews. I could completely identify with this problem coming from Iowa, which generates the single story of "flyover country" if it generates a story at all.



 I felt trusted

It felt great to lead the discussion there; I felt trusted. Here we were discussing something so close to Turkish hearts in a language foreign to them. Out of the 30+ people there, only two of us were from another country. Could you find 30 of your friends able to discuss a topic all in the same foreign language in your home country? I could not.

Not a single person brought up the Turkish "single story" that used to drive Turks crazy for years as recently as five years ago: the story told in the movie "Midnight Express" about an American imprisoned for drug charges. I asked a woman about it later and she said "I thought about it though!"  That old single story about Turkey, while new to me, has been left behind, which I am sure, cheers the Turks. Their story is much, much bigger now.

Another great discussion

led by Alper Rozanes

generated by Alain de Botton's video

"A kinder, gentler philosophy of success"

 You know the discussions are good when you almost hate to see the next video start up.

Another insight I had from the combination of videos watched that day is how there seems to be a dominate "single story" about what constitutes success around the world: career success and wealth. How useful for the world's corporations.

Yet, there are many other ways to be successful, each an expression of human excellence. Think of success in marriage, or as a caregiver, or as a parent, or as a creative. We too often care too much about that dominant single story of success, rather than listen to our own drummer.

Isil's idea of a 'Curious Souls' discussion group would be an inexpensive idea to replicate anywhere in the world, wouldn't it? It's exciting the range of content available on the Internet.  It's no longer necessary to settle for what's on TV. We can skip the violence and go straight to intellectually uplifting.
 

 One last glorious painting by Setenay Ozbek